Sunday, 18 December 2011

I am

I am who I am is what I’ve told myself
“Be who you are” is what I’m told.
But when all you’re told is of what is expected.
What society, over years, has constructed.
And all our ways are so restricted.
That our hope is solely to be accepted.
And yet, “I am who I am” is what I’ve said.


I am who I am
But I no longer know who I am
Because who I’ve been is who I’ve wanted to be
So that others can see?
And that I may be free?
But that does not make me who I am
Or who I could be
But would I be who I need to be
To be the me the world ceases to see?

But who I am is whom I’ve tried not to be.
To be all whom I can be
And still things have worked in revers
For who I am is who I should be
Whom I could be but possibly
Not whom I want to be
Nor whom I stay saying, ‘I’m me.’
Will I ever be free?

Saturday, 17 December 2011


Stories unfold
Of secrets untold
Meanings understood
And reasons forgotten.
Blind belief
Broken in grief
Claiming to know
The One who sees all.
Sleeping spirit rise
Tell all mankind
Truth is not told
But seen all around.

Saturday, 3 December 2011

Before You Reach

You wish you knew what to do
Or even what to say
Helpless and burdened
You keep walking your way

You wonder, ‘Will it ever end?’
This mountain that you scale.
The valley may have been beautiful,
But it’s always about the climb.

You struggle to hold on.
You wish to give up.
You want to go home.
You’re just tired and rough.

Your voice is coarse as you cry out for help,
But not a soul will appear to dry your tears.
Then you quieten, leave every thought aside.
To hear a voice that calls your name, faintly from inside.

The more you listen, the louder you hear.
The easier the climb, as the peak draws near.
You’re going home, though a while it may take.
But you’re determined to give your best, even before you reach.

Wednesday, 30 November 2011


What hurts the most is when  you feel unneeded.
When the world still turns, though you stand still.
When you cry, only to be surrounded by silence.
When you speak and your voice echoes all alone.

What hurts the worst is when you’re broken
And you can’t feel the hurt.
When you've blocked yourself from all joy and sorrow,
And nothing can penetrate your wall.

What hurts is when you know you are helpless
To help the ones you love.
Hatred brews from the sadness and anger.
Bottled, left to ferment.

You step into comatose, numb to everything;
Wondering whether or not to even be part of the scene.
You want not to take the path needed.
And yet, you want the same.

Blow Me Away

Blow me away, Mr. Wind
Let me fly on your wings.
Let me soar in the sky
That you see every day.

Blow me away, Mr. Wind
Let me dance with the stars as you do.
Let me see the world through your eyes
That my perception be renewed.

Blow me away Mr. Wind
That I stay here not a moment more.
Let me come with you o’er oceans and more
That I too can hear them as they roar.

Blow me away Mr. Wind.
That I may recall all that I have
That I may remember the ones I love
And bring me back no longer bland.

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

With love.

My love was incomplete when I didn't know you.
My love wasn't like the dark side of the moon.
My love was constant, while it was love.
My love wasn't what I thought it was about.

My love was like the sun that never sets
My love wasn't what in dreams I had met.
My love was kind, forgiving and patient.
My love wasn't just windswept.

My love brought me much more than I deserve.
My love was never what caused me to burn.
My love inspired me to smile.
My love never said, "Don't try."

My love will be what it needs to be.
My love can't be forced, you see.
My love is a river that runs far and deep.
My love isn't what you want me to be.

My love is who I am, accepting you for you.
My love isn't to keep you from pushing through.

When I say, I speak in love,
I mean not for you to come undone.
But in love, we stand strong. 
But without love, we fall.

Thursday, 27 October 2011

Little One.

Little one, you smile.
And my world is set ablaze.
For I can see the stars, in your gaze.

Little one, you laugh.
And I laugh with you.
For I need a million reasons not to do so when you do.

Little one, you cry,
And my heart breaks
To let even that first tear streak your face.
But little one, sometimes we all need relief
And crying may help us keep the deal brief.

Little one, you dance.
To the orchestra in your mind.
But little one, it is
What makes me smile.

Little one, your hug,
The warmth and kind.
Make everything bad shrivel from sight.

Little one, your song,
As you sing it out loud,
Gives me hope, makes me want to shout.

Little one, your dreams,
Though sometimes troubled, they seem.
Are probably what I see in your eyes, that gleam.

Little one, you are
Who you ought to be.
But little one, you’ll always be ‘little’ to me.
And nothing will change the way I see.


I know not what was said
To cause the name to resound in my head.
Many a time, it has struck a chord
Many a song’s lyrics have I heard.

It stands out, I know not what it means.
My heart rests, uneasy.
Wondering further, why this name for me.
I know not why it comes time and again.

I have now learned.
The Lord rewards each beyond prayers heard.
Irene resounds once again.
No longer is my heart hard to bend.

Curiosity comes to those who ponder.
Mystery behind the name they seek.
To each one, a gift, to cause wonder.
A meaning behind the name, to teach.

Tuesday, 11 October 2011


Worry about each bell as it chimes.
Not whether the sun would rise.
But if you’ve done today what you’re meant to.
Wondering what tomorrow will bring only takes away from your sleep.


Mortified, she hides her fear.
Behind her smile, falls her tears
She must be strong, like her mother before her.
For they did not tarry when trouble drew near.

They held on, as she tried.
She would be strong, but she tires.
Finding comfort when she’s alone.
For then she could let every tear roll.

She begs them not to ask her
To not be so humiliated
For what she fears is nothing
But the worry of a child

One that has had a perfect life.
Everything provided for.
One who knows not to care for others
That’s where she was lost.

When they needed her the most,
She could not help
When they asked her to stay
That’s when she wept.

It baffled her to think
That someone could love her
But every time she neared the brink
His hand would hold her

Though others saw through her,
They would not understand
They would call her a ‘baby’
Shake it off

But that’s not going to help…
It’s not what she needs the most.
Her fears are light, simple and easy to write off
But her fears are her fears, like it or not.

She cries out to the unseen
Feels His warm embrace,
Because He understands.
He’s been in her place.

The city darkens as the moon disappears
She holds on to herself,
Knowing He’s got her under his wing
Safe, to herself she sings.


“Listen to the wind
Feel the sand under your feet.
Listen to the water
In time with the breeze.”
The sun sets slowly
She holds her breath
She listens and feels
Alive again.
Her spirit soars.
She is at peace
So long as thoughts of life have ceased.

It Takes Time.

She runs because no one stops her
She walks away to see if someone would care
She doesn’t know what to say so she steps back
Wondering if anyone would dare

To step out of what they’re saying
Try to include her as well
She feels unsafe, insecure
If they knew her, they could tell

She walks away, they let her go
She made an excuse to leave
They hardly bothered to ask her to stay
She shuts the door and breathes.

She sighs; she thought they knew her better
But it’s okay someone else will
It takes time to teach these things
And time to understand.


A mental state of responsibility
Instead of one to say its where I want to be
People going around and around.
Research, work, too many sounds!
Laughter and fun, frowns frail.
No one knows the entire tale.

Torn Between Two Cities.

Heart-broken she watched them walk away - her family, her friends and him - the one who held her heart. Every step shattered the already broken heart into pieces so tiny she felt it would never be whole again. The train moved further away and he looked back to see her standing at the door. She held back the tears that wanted to flow and met his blue eyes. He smiled at her, and mouthed the words, 'You'll be alright'. She knew he meant it. She sighed, told herself that six months would fly by and she would be home soon. She smiled a smile that just about reached her hazel eyes to her dear ones and took her seat near the window to watch them turn into mere silhouettes in the moonlight of the poorly lit railway station, soon to disappear.

She could hold it in no longer. She couldn’t comprehend why she meant so much to each of them but she could state so many reasons as to why each one meant so much to her. The tears fell… people stared but she ignored them. None of it mattered. She had to let it out.

Every thought made her smile and cry. She had no clue what to do. And he called, “I know you’re crying… and I’m not going to tell you to stop. Let it out and then call me back.”

“Don’t hang up. I don’t like feeling so alone. So lost.”

“Love, you’ve got my heart. You can never be alone and God will watch over you. It was hard for me to hear you say you’d go so far away to study but He helped me through that and He’ll help you through this. You told me that He’s leading you. So take it in stride and I’ll come visit you soon.”

“You’re coming? When? How did that happen?”

“Your parents thought it would make you feel better about going away so suddenly if, once you had a chance to cry it out a bit, you knew that we’d come to see you and what you’re up to. They invited me along. I’ll see you in a month’s time. Look forward to that and smile the smile that brings so much joy to the world.”

“Well, I’m smiling a bit. But I don’t think I’ll ever be able to smile joyously with those I love so far away.”

“We’re right there with you. You know each one of us so well. You know exactly how each of us would react to what you say and do. True, we’re not with you to hold your hand. But know that God has us all safe in His arms. You’re in good hands my love. There’re none better.”

“I’ll remember. Remember all that God has blessed me with. I’ll remember that, though I don’t feel strong, He’s there to give me strength. Though I don’t know what I’m doing, He knows every step I take and will protect me. He’ll keep you safe as well and my parents and everyone else and he won’t let me forget where all my blessings come from.”

“But what if I don’t succeed? What if everything goes wrong? What if I can never come back? What if they hate me there? What if I can’t match their talents?”

“You didn’t choose this on your own, you were led. I was with you when you prayed. I prayed with you. God works for good always. I know you. It will be hard for you. But you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. You've asked for this opportunity to be taken away if it wasn’t for you. But that’s exactly what you've been given. You’ve asked that God leads you through everything. Don’t worry. He will. Never forget that He loves you and always wants what is best for you and nothing less.”

"I know. But I’m so scared. How am I still in such doubt? I want to believe. I don’t know what to do. I’ve barely left home and I really want to come back, I won’t be able handle the work. I feel like I’m about to drop out right now.”

“There’s no chance of that happening. You’re too stubborn for it. I know you feel lost… but where you’ll go, He knows. He’s going to hold your hand right through it. Look to Him for guidance through everything. Be yourself and love like you always do. Your smile can light up a room with its innocence and honesty.”

“But I’m scared I’ll change. You know how gullible I am. You know how much I yearn to belong.”

“But I also know how much you dislike doing things just because everyone else does them. You’ve got great instincts. Listen to them. I’ll call you every day and you can talk to me always.”

“I love you always. Hearing your voice makes me feel safe again. You’re right. I’ll be back soon. It’ll take time to adjust but I will. And don’t miss me too much. You may be the stronger of the two of us but I know you’re just like me when it comes to feeling lonely. I’ll see you soon and I’ll always keep your heart safe. We may be torn between two cities but we’ll always be one.”

“Get some sleep and rest. There’s a new world waiting to see you and what you can do when you believe in yourself and trust in God. I love you. The Lord bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you. Keep smiling, ‘kay?”

“I’ll call you when I get there.”

The call having ended, she looked out into the midnight sky with the crescent moon peeping through soft clouds, she told herself, she’d be strong and decisive in everything. A new life would not make her forget the old. She would still hold dear what she had now and she’d trust in God to show her through everything and lead her to what it was she was meant to do.

The View.

Bold and boundless, the view I saw,
Counting mountains and clouds that soar.
Danger lurking at the dangling cliffs
Emerging mists that cleared with the drift.

Frightful ventures to reach, long forgotten.
Garish memories set aside for now.
Hopeful words sing in my heart
I watch as the sun sets the sky ablaze.

Just a moment, my breath caught
Kissed by the wind, my hair flies in the draught.
Looking lost with my eyes in a daze,
My mind wanders - the view, a haze.

Not one moment, to this, compares.
Open my senses, consumed in beauty
Places, I’ve never been to before.
Flood out of my sight, as I awaken.

Thursday, 22 September 2011


When all the world keeps racing around; 
How can I be slow?
When all around me feels tied down; 
How can I be free?
How can I ask that one would listen?
When sorrow is of all I speak?
But you're right, sometimes even listeners
Shoulders to cry on seek.
I hear the wonder in his voice of concern and care.
I hear the sadness and despair for a friend no longer near.
I hear the shadow of a past engraved in stone.
And yet when I speak, my voice echoes, I stand alone.
The pits of despair shall not keep me down.
I will rise above.
For one leads me through life's fears,
It's His hand, I hold.

Monday, 19 September 2011


As the walls close in, she looks out to watch the world pass by as she naught but thinks.
It passes by, she's left behind, so much more to be done, the thought sinks.
It is high time something was done.
High time life slowed down too.
But a blur, the world around her.
But a blur, the thoughts inside.

Thursday, 1 September 2011


This friendship blooms
Like a flower in spring
To where it reaches
No one knows
It’ll bend and turn in paths unknown
Rooted in a ground solid and strong.
The flower a gift of care and love
The beauty left for us to behold.
An uncharted course that started with a smile
Undiscovered territories messed with for a while
Whatever it was, unexpected, unknown
I’m still thankful for the joy untold.
Blessings that come my way haven’t ceased
And you are also one I believe
Uncanny similarities and some non- existent
An abrupt start perhaps, perhaps not
Whatever it be, this flower grows strong.

For my Cutiepie.

Counting my blessings is impossible
If I were to count you out.
For you, boy, are a blessing.
Of that I have no doubts!
There hasn’t been a day
When I’ve thought of or met you
And my face, though eager to,
Was left without a smile.
Not a thought comes to mind,
That doesn’t give me joy
When I think of you
And that gleam in your eyes;
The sparkle of mischief, and humility
And your genuine honesty.
At least, that’s what I see.
A few have been concerned for my sanity (I think)
When I speak of you so fondly,
But that’s because they don’t realize that our God, so wonderful
Has given me such a precious friend ^.^
Tears well up in my eyes
As your smile is drawn in my mind
So cheerful and ever so kind
Such a sweetheart, my Cutiepie. ^.^


Because I thought of you :D


Would it be wrong to give up on hope?
Would it be possible? Should it come first?
Why would you go on if you have no hope?
So then giving up is a lost cause.

No one stays, nor do they leave.
Contradictions come undone.
Why the life, why the living?
Why the stagnant state of giving?

Why the wonder in the world
All blemished in a thoughtless girl?
So much seen, heard and spoken of.
So many lies left unsurfaced.

Regret has never helped.
Forgiveness heals.
Soon you will be able to breathe.
Finally, you will leave.


Written sometime early April or maybe mid.

Friday, 26 August 2011

A Voice of Apathy.

The faint sound of help 
To a fearful cry.
A loud voice of apathy
That calms inside

It arouses naught but anger,
Naught but despair,
To see a fellow human
Cast aside without a care.

A broken arm? A shattered spine?
"Where will it stop?" I ask.
It's not okay, it's not alright,
To just let it pass.

It's not cool to walk away
OR be the cause of fear
It's not wise to stand aside
And exclaim, "Oh Dear!"

When will we rise to stand together,
Against the hate and harm?
Will our children solely grow
To count on shooting stars?

Tuesday, 19 July 2011


Flying high you fall.
Everyone stands tall
You cry as the wind carries you
Your mind wanders. It falters.

What you try to say, no one knows
One hears every need in your heart
You call out for help
He answers

Things are wild. And yet you are calm
Heaven helps you in the turmoil
Life swims around you.
You remain standing. For He holds you in His palm

Life is not explicable.
Everything need not make sense
But for every need you call to Him.
Awaken. Embrace it.

Eloquent words may get you somewhere.
Intricate skill, somewhere else.
Time will fly, it will leave you behind.
But you will soar with Him.