I dreamt of you last night.
But, I can't remember the dream.
And that hurts, because it feels like I'm forgetting you.
But I don't want to.

Life is a journey
To each their own.
Death, an adventure
As yet unknown.

Dust returned to dust.
Brokenness that
Wounded;
Scarred.

I want to feel,
Never again.

Home to House

The empty shell that was

Once your home;

Now a shadow,

Across the scar in my being

When you left...

But a house.

My memories serve me no comfort

As I remember. 

The hope taking little pain away 

As I wait.

We go on, 

But you went on.

Tread

We are each on a path,
That no other may tread for us.
None other may walk beside us.
Except for the brief moments
That we are allowed
To accompany each other.

And in those moments
We find
Who we are;
Who we want to be;
Who we ought to be.

And yet,
Always Incomplete.

Adieu 2

The fortnight of your silence...
Soon to turn into a lifetime.

Adieu

To the man who loved me more than I could ever love at all, I bid adieu.

And yet, a legacy that touches the world cannot be defeated by the mere likes of death. 

You live on in us. And we live on with you.

So, this is not goodbye.

I'll see you when He decides I can come home too.

Thangam

Rat Race Manifesto

There will be one day when all humans live in peace... Each one caring for only the simplest of things such as food, water, clothing shelter, etc. Anything more would be a luxury that they cherish dearly, a gift of some sort perhaps from someone dear to them. And they will say, “Our ancestors ran a rat race for nothing. They knew nothing of how to live... They used excessively, wasted everything, and realized always only too late. They spoke of change and life anew. They spoke of being able to fix all that they had ruined. But that’s all they did. Speak. Mere words were their ‘contribution’. They were too busy with the race. Each trying to get ahead of the other and using whatever means are necessary for it. Being the best, or trying to, was most important for their survival. They spent so much time competing, that they lost all sight of the beauty that was around them; all the wonder and magnificence of nature, ignored and eventually destroyed.”  Or will they?

We humans trample over all, thinking we are greater, better, smarter. Yet it is those in sync with nature that know what the Earth needs. They do not cut down trees to construct wider roads. They do not spill oil in the water. They do not pour toxic materials untreated into the water sources. We destroy, they suffer but try to adapt. We destroy some more, they suffer. How much can we expect them to suffer? They do not fight it. When their attempts at adaptation fail, they die out and we grieve for their extinction. And go on with little change.

But this need not be. We can change it. The future is not written in stone. It is carved through the choices we make and through our actions. If not us, then who will help the Earth?  Will there be anyone else to come to save it? Will there be anything left for us to even have descendants who think so badly of us? Will they be able to survive on what we leave, that is, if we leave anything?

The rat race has to stop. The more we race. The less track we have to run on. The more we help each other, the further the track stretches, but it’s no longer a track, more of a road that we travel together. Cooperation and consideration are the keys.

Some say, “What’s the point? It’s all going to perish anyway.” To which we reply, “When we can make things last longer and be of more use, why throw it away now? With your attitudes, everyone might as well destroy all things around them, claiming its just preparation for an even otherwise impending doom.”

This has to stop. We decide. We shall not be wasteful. We shall not be greedy. When we have more, we share. When we have enough, we try to make it last longer than estimated. We are sympathetic to the Earth’s needs. We seek to find new ways to be less wasteful and more economical; optimum use of minimum resources. We can bring the change. We can be the Difference. We are the Difference.

The Stranger I Know

Well, I still don't know your name. And honestly, I doubt, I'll ever see you again. But, we'll never know until it happens (or doesn't). Therefore, I guess, you and I are strangers. But, I can't say that's true.

Let me start at the beginning... Our paths first crossed over a year ago, and I'm pretty sure you took as little notice of me as I did you. I remember you were busy being in charge of whatever it was you were in charge of... and I was in my own world trying not to freak out, as always, about having to stand in front of a crowd. I remember seeing you a few weeks later at another fest... You were still as unassuming as you were the first time. I remember because I'd asked a friend why you looked so familiar when you smiled at me. But you were still forgettable. And I did forget you. We were still strangers.

We still are... even though I'm beginning to sound like we've met... you and I both know that we haven't. But I doubt I'll forget the day I actually saw you. No, we didn't converse; we weren't introduced; we weren't forced to cooperate; I doubt we even have friends in common. But I remember the day I recognized something in you, I'd never seen before. I saw JOY in your eyes. Not happiness. Pure joy. Joy that I'd seen in very few people before and since.

It was a morning like any other for me, where I left home, got on one bus and waited to get off and board another one. Your bus was stopped at the red light just next to mine and as I tried to figure out why your face was so familiar, just before recognition dawned, you smiled. I smiled back. And our buses went their separate ways. You made a difference that morning; made it special. All you had to do was smile and that joy spilled over - unadulterated. Of all the people I've befriended on public transport, I'd say my story with you is the oddest, because, we still haven't met.

Our paths crossed again last month, and I still saw that joy in your eyes. Refreshing and bright. Genuine. I was on stage. You smiled with recognition, again... or at least, I'd like to believe it's recognition. I wouldn't be surprised if you were just smiling in encouragement, though. But that joy hadn't changed a bit. I was thrilled to see you, to see that smile. I should've said something, at least a "Hello"; I didn't have the courage. What if you'd never seen me before? Or maybe you would have greeted me back. I guess I'll never know.

But I'll remember. There's a part of me holding on to that fear, hoping our paths don't cross just so I won't embarrass myself; yet, another part hopes to see those joyful eyes again, knowing that you'll remember me. I suppose I may never know... But next time, I'll try harder to gather up the courage to talk to you. Just so you won't be the stranger I know anymore.

Phoenix

Faces of you, I don't know.
Phases of you that do not show.
Joy that hides a broken soul.
Sorrow resides in the unknown.

Void I fell into,
Numb, cold.
Falling further,
This frozen mould.

Voiceless wanderer
Sightless bird
Flightless phoenix
You now burn,

From these ashes, you will not rise.
From this furnace, the dark needn't hide.
Grasped in fate and fortune's folds.
Cast into destiny's hold.

Let In

"Won't you open your heart?
Won't you let someone in?"

"Will I get hurt?
Will I be whole again?"

"I won't promise that you won't.
No one is ever whole."

"I'm broken enough.
I'm not coming."

"Everyone's broken.
Not everyone is unhappy."

"So many pieces?
No shields? No guard?"

"So many more pieces.
Even when protected."

"What's the point of the shattered existence?
Why?"

"To learn
To love."

"Love the shattering?"

"Love the broken perfection."

"How do I see the 'broken perfection'?"

"Look through My eyes."

"I'm scared. I'm scarred. I'm not good enough."

"I never asked you to be. Just let Me in."

Seeing Grace

When the wind goes quiet,
And my heart's in silence,
And the world around me's fading away,

When words aren't spoken,
And storms aren't for hopin',
When everything else looks away...

That's when I see Grace
Shining down on me
When all the world is a haze.
Through the darkness I hear,
A still small voice that says,
"I've been here always."

When I've walked in silence,
Amidst the shadows in despair,
And when I'd become one myself,

There was but one reason,
That kept me believing,
When everything else looked away.

That's when I saw Grace
Shining down on me
When all the world was a haze.
Through the darkness I heard,
A still small voice that said,
"I've been here always."

And I can't tell you a moment,
Since or before, 
That I haven't traced the lifetime of love.
Though I didn't know the reasons,
Though it took me a while to see, 
Once my eyes had been opened, 
There's nowhere I'd rather be
Than in the light of the grace that I've seen!

Because when I saw Grace
Shining down on me
When all the world was a haze.
Through the darkness I heard,
A still small voice that said,
"I've been here always."
"I'll be here always."

Summer Rain

Pitter Patter.
The incessant drizzle.
Drumming in her head.
Drumming around her.

But the window is open,
Not a drop is falling.
Where is the rain?
Where is the sun?

Where is the giver of life anew?
Where is that which makes old things new?
Why does she hear it thundering through?
Why can she not see through the draught?

The silence resonates.
Mind muddled.
Where is the light?
Summer radiates with no sun?

Have We Forgotten?

If we keep walking,
Keep talking,
Keep moving on,
Does it mean that we've forgotten?

If we keep laughing,
Keep smiling,
If the world keeps turning on,
Does it mean that we've forgotten?

If I'm supposed to stand still,
If I'm supposed to move on,
If I'm supposed to make the world turn,
Does it mean I've forgotten,
Or that I shouldn't hold on?

You Shouldn't Have Gone.

I don't know why you'd want to do that.
I can't even be bringing you back.
I don't know why you'd want to go there.
Why didn't you tell me you'd need help?

If you'd just pick up the phone.
I'd have screamed it in your ear.
I'd tell you you're not alone!
I'd tell you that you are loved.
I'd tell you you have a home.
Please, please don't go.

I know I've told you this over and over
But you never seem to get it through your head.
It's not funny that you'd just up and leave.
You've got people here you never even thought of.

Why? Why? WHY would you just pick up and leave?
Who do you think you are -
To mess with all those people who loved you.
You left us all behind, though you  knew we'd be there
To help and to guide and support you.
NOT COOL.

But you ran away.
You didn't wanna be saved.
Stupid. Selfish. Sorry, you'd better be.
'Coz I'm sorry you did leave,
You knew the love we had to give.

Come back.
I'll miss you so.
But I guess that's your goodbye.