The Stranger I Know

Well, I still don't know your name. And honestly, I doubt, I'll ever see you again. But, we'll never know until it happens (or doesn't). Therefore, I guess, you and I are strangers. But, I can't say that's true.

Let me start at the beginning... Our paths first crossed over a year ago, and I'm pretty sure you took as little notice of me as I did you. I remember you were busy being in charge of whatever it was you were in charge of... and I was in my own world trying not to freak out, as always, about having to stand in front of a crowd. I remember seeing you a few weeks later at another fest... You were still as unassuming as you were the first time. I remember because I'd asked a friend why you looked so familiar when you smiled at me. But you were still forgettable. And I did forget you. We were still strangers.

We still are... even though I'm beginning to sound like we've met... you and I both know that we haven't. But I doubt I'll forget the day I actually saw you. No, we didn't converse; we weren't introduced; we weren't forced to cooperate; I doubt we even have friends in common. But I remember the day I recognized something in you, I'd never seen before. I saw JOY in your eyes. Not happiness. Pure joy. Joy that I'd seen in very few people before and since.

It was a morning like any other for me, where I left home, got on one bus and waited to get off and board another one. Your bus was stopped at the red light just next to mine and as I tried to figure out why your face was so familiar, just before recognition dawned, you smiled. I smiled back. And our buses went their separate ways. You made a difference that morning; made it special. All you had to do was smile and that joy spilled over - unadulterated. Of all the people I've befriended on public transport, I'd say my story with you is the oddest, because, we still haven't met.

Our paths crossed again last month, and I still saw that joy in your eyes. Refreshing and bright. Genuine. I was on stage. You smiled with recognition, again... or at least, I'd like to believe it's recognition. I wouldn't be surprised if you were just smiling in encouragement, though. But that joy hadn't changed a bit. I was thrilled to see you, to see that smile. I should've said something, at least a "Hello"; I didn't have the courage. What if you'd never seen me before? Or maybe you would have greeted me back. I guess I'll never know.

But I'll remember. There's a part of me holding on to that fear, hoping our paths don't cross just so I won't embarrass myself; yet, another part hopes to see those joyful eyes again, knowing that you'll remember me. I suppose I may never know... But next time, I'll try harder to gather up the courage to talk to you. Just so you won't be the stranger I know anymore.

Walking Down Memory Lane.

I take quite a few walks down memory lane every so often. I find it refreshing. There are times when I wish I could paint or sketch or something because there are those moments that are so precious and every time the image comes up in my head, part of me wants to plug my brain into a printer and have a hard copy. And the other part of me tells me I possibly wouldn't do it, even if I could.

See, the thing about me is, I remember a lot, at least when it comes to things that matter to me. Now, I'm gonna apologise to anyone I offend here and now, because it's bound to happen somewhere along this post.
I remember people who have given me something to think about, something to smile about. I remember what they said, how they said it, why they said it, when they said it and the whole sha-bang of the conversation. I remember because, to me, it was worth remembering. I remember things about people I've never met sometimes, just because someone in my memory mentioned them.

And yet, I remember less than half of the new faces and names I met this Sunday at the youth gathering. I know there are about three people I'll remember for a while, two because I actually got to talk to them for a little less than 5 minutes, but it was a conversation. And I'm happy to remember. The third just has one of those faces that I cannot place, but looks so ridiculously familiar for some reason. It's like I'm missing something I'm supposed to know and yet, the chances of that actually being true are practically nil.

I have so many memories flooding my brain right now, I couldn't possibly begin to type them out, but brains are funny things. I'm actually happy that they stump man every now and again, reminding us that if we don't know our own brains, everything else we know can't amount to much. At least, that's how I see it. I'm glad to remember. And no, I haven't got only happy memories. But, I'd like to believe that I've taken what I need to learn from those that weren't so pleasant, and the unpleasantness isn't meant to be dwelt on. It helps to start off with clean slates when you're as short-tempered (gaining length each day ;P) as I am or have been.

Take a stroll down memory lane. Remind yourself of good things. Sometimes they hide in the silliest of jokes, sometimes in the angriest quarrel. But memory lane always has something for us to learn.

Changed.

CHANGE. I sometimes think this is the most difficult word I've ever come across. It's certainly one of the most unpleasant a lot of times. But in the end, it's sort of ridiculous how there's absolutely nothing we can do but accept it, because life always ends up turning out the right way if we do and turning into a big mess whenever we try to resist it :|

     My dear uncle was just telling me how fast we're all growing up. And he's right you know, Joe'll be 16 in 3 months, Mike, 18 in 4 and Imma be 20 in 5?! Seriously, when the heck did we grow so big?! But you know what, I don't feel 20, I don't remember this being what it felt like to be 20 when I imagined it when I thought of someday being 20... I mean like, when I was a kid, maybe what, 5 or 6, there used to be 20-year olds in our house all the time, and I don't really remember imagining myself to grow up into someone like them... I don't think I could quite think that far at that age. Considering, I clearly recall answering a, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" question with, "A nurse." Clearly, a lot has changed since then! :P

    I suppose, I was just being a little child then, but when do we actually change from being a little kid who doesn't know much to the billions of different people we are in this world? I mean, considering how much we resist change, it slips in ever so cunningly, innit? Did we ever really notice when we stopped wanting to do something because someone said don't. Did we ever really think about it, when our teachers said do? We just changed as the tide washed over us. I'd say it's a good thing because the smoothest pebbles are found washed in the river. But that doesn't mean we gotta be pebbles and not do anything but take it does it? Think about it? Lemme know :) <3

I tell you, I sure didn't notice a lot of things that changed about me until I looked back on them.

Good night!

Memories and Love

So a few days ago, I actually cooked a complete meal for a bunch of my friends and apparently they loved it. There was actually a point where I thought at least one person might fall sick, but they all loved it and had a brilliant time. Turns out, I was just psyching myself out. But seriously, that was one of the best days ever! Not because I learnt to cook something new, but because I got to spend a beautiful day with beautiful people doing unexpected things :)
     The day didn't quite start out like I'd planned coz I'd expected people to come in from 11.30 onwards, but it turned out that all of them were able to make it only two hours later :P OOPS! Well, I suppose the best food is the food you wait the most to eat :D Haha! Dessert wasn't really a success but everyone ate heartily anyway coz we mixed the two and made it somewhat perfect :P Biscuit pudding attempt. Not quite like I expected! But, Ah well :D
     Then came the best part of any meal or gathering. The incessant chattering about the whole world :D It's really really fun to keep realising how small the world is when you get together with 6 or 7 people who have a few things in common and keep searching to find more and more. And the more unexpected the findings become :P Seriously! And the laughs and smiles! And btw, these are people who have some incredibly beautiful smiles! You cannot help but smile when you have them around ^.^ <3

    So, we're just chatting and someone suggests that we go to the beach, and so despite the excitement, it takes us a while to get going, but once we're on the road, there's absolutely no stopping us! :D 7 packed into a car, feeling like sardines are better off, we head out on the long-short drive. Music bursting through the doors and drumming our ears, barely able to make out what's being sung unless you know the song, the beach welcomed us with bright sunlight, black sand and big waves that could knock us over without a thought needed.
     We didn't really plan to get wet, but we just walked along, taking pictures with a fancy camera, but not without dear cause! For the more opportunity we have to engrave memories into our brains, the better and how better to do that than with a thousand photos capturing precious moments with each other ^.^ <3
     Walking aimlessly is AWESOME! Honest! I kid you not! All you know is that you're gonna walk in a certain direction with a bunch of people who have pretty much the same idea in their heads! And then you stumble across something that all of you are so enthused by, you can't help but enjoy yourself! Okay okay, so what I actually mean is, it's brilliant that none of us actually had a plan in mind when we got there, coz we just kept watching and a zoomed-in photo told us that there was human life at the top of the lighthouse. And funnily enough, the 7 of us, all of whom have spent somewhere around 15-20 years of their lives in this city, give or take a few, had never been there before. Some of us not even to it's foot.
     And so we had a destination. And it was soooooo worth the climb right upto the top just to sit through the railings, listening to the waves crash, remembering songs, especially, Holy Phantom. Simply beautiful and quite obviously one of the highest points of our existences. :)

     But, you know what, the most beautiful part of it all is to realise that the God who made all this beauty, this wonder that will never cease to blow our minds, made us. Think about it. Every wave has a beat, a rise, a fall, a crash. Even the smallest one whispers to those who are listening. And He, this Maker of All, Artist like no other, made us. Each one. He planned out our every step, knows us inside and out. Because when you create something, if you're doing it with all your heart, then you know it by heart. The potter knows every crack in his crockery.
     It's amazing to see the sun set the sky aflame into a thousand colours that one as primitive as I would deign to simply say it was pink, orange and gold. Painting the water like jewels strewn across the ocean. Wind singing, birds flying high, near and far. And I hear the constant whisper, "I love you more" It can bring you to your knees and down to tears.
    It's funny how we never stop to realise stuff like this, because in my experience, it's the people who do notice such blessings who are the happiest. I want to be one of them, to see all the blessings that my Lord has given me, and to rejoice with all of creation because we have a glorious God and a wonderful Saviour! They make life soooo worth living! <3