Water's edge

The water’s edge is a strange place to be in the midst of the storm. I can feel the wind rising, but its call is but an echo in my ears. The rain has been battering against the window panes, but even that is only the sound of chimes in the air. My thoughts are louder, now, than all that is around me. I do not wish to go back. There is an escape within these waves. The storm is brewing, but I am still here. It cannot move me.

My eyes are closed, but my other senses tell me all that happens around me. The chill of the rain as it caresses my skin, the cold water that hugs my feet, the wind that bites the warmth out of me with a brutality that seeks to cause pain. The ebb, the flow, the howl, it is all but music, orchestrated like chaos. The scent and taste of salt in my hair and on my lips, draw memories into my vision. I can’t tell which ones I’d want to let go of, even if I could.

There is nowhere I have felt safer, and yet, there is nowhere more dangerous that I have been to as yet. My strength fades. I fall to the ground. There is no part of me that is not soaked to the bone, as the sea smiles in victory.  And yet, it is in the darkness of the storm, that I feel the most empowered. It is in the riot of the wind that the calm surrounds me.  

And it is amidst this assault on my senses that I feel his arms around me. I do not need to be in control. Relief washes over me as I realize that he’s found me. The storm rages ever more so, but it cannot tell whether my tears are my own or that of the rain. But I am safe as I hear him whispering in my ear, ‘I’ll always be here.’

Adieu

To the man who loved me more than I could ever love at all, I bid adieu.

And yet, a legacy that touches the world cannot be defeated by the mere likes of death. 

You live on in us. And we live on with you.

So, this is not goodbye.

I'll see you when He decides I can come home too.

Thangam

The Stranger I Know

Well, I still don't know your name. And honestly, I doubt, I'll ever see you again. But, we'll never know until it happens (or doesn't). Therefore, I guess, you and I are strangers. But, I can't say that's true.

Let me start at the beginning... Our paths first crossed over a year ago, and I'm pretty sure you took as little notice of me as I did you. I remember you were busy being in charge of whatever it was you were in charge of... and I was in my own world trying not to freak out, as always, about having to stand in front of a crowd. I remember seeing you a few weeks later at another fest... You were still as unassuming as you were the first time. I remember because I'd asked a friend why you looked so familiar when you smiled at me. But you were still forgettable. And I did forget you. We were still strangers.

We still are... even though I'm beginning to sound like we've met... you and I both know that we haven't. But I doubt I'll forget the day I actually saw you. No, we didn't converse; we weren't introduced; we weren't forced to cooperate; I doubt we even have friends in common. But I remember the day I recognized something in you, I'd never seen before. I saw JOY in your eyes. Not happiness. Pure joy. Joy that I'd seen in very few people before and since.

It was a morning like any other for me, where I left home, got on one bus and waited to get off and board another one. Your bus was stopped at the red light just next to mine and as I tried to figure out why your face was so familiar, just before recognition dawned, you smiled. I smiled back. And our buses went their separate ways. You made a difference that morning; made it special. All you had to do was smile and that joy spilled over - unadulterated. Of all the people I've befriended on public transport, I'd say my story with you is the oddest, because, we still haven't met.

Our paths crossed again last month, and I still saw that joy in your eyes. Refreshing and bright. Genuine. I was on stage. You smiled with recognition, again... or at least, I'd like to believe it's recognition. I wouldn't be surprised if you were just smiling in encouragement, though. But that joy hadn't changed a bit. I was thrilled to see you, to see that smile. I should've said something, at least a "Hello"; I didn't have the courage. What if you'd never seen me before? Or maybe you would have greeted me back. I guess I'll never know.

But I'll remember. There's a part of me holding on to that fear, hoping our paths don't cross just so I won't embarrass myself; yet, another part hopes to see those joyful eyes again, knowing that you'll remember me. I suppose I may never know... But next time, I'll try harder to gather up the courage to talk to you. Just so you won't be the stranger I know anymore.

Twenty Tomorrow

So, well, nothing surprising here :) Twenty tomorrow is obvious enough :")
But this post is about much much more.
I'm just really really happy right now. And Oh SO Thankful to God for His brilliance. I mean, like, I can't even put it into words. I'm just sitting here thinking of my life and how it's been so far. Yeah, I can see all those tears and stupidity and blah stuff. But then that's like just one miniscule part of my being. There are so many memories and people that come flooding in and it amazes me how I've met so many of them. So many stories and I'm telling you, He's planned it SO perfectly. I wouldn't change a thing! And He's taken me through so much and changed me so much. I just want to sit and smile and be like, I wish my smile could speak and it would just be telling the world that HE MADE ME. HE KNOWS MY NAME. HE CHOSE ME. HE LOVES ME. And this smile, is HIS. I am HIS.

I'm looking around and all I'm seeing is beauty. I mean seriously, this world is so beautiful. VERY MUCH! And to think, that Someone, who made ALL that, made me too and cares about me.
Jesus Loves Me. And He Loves you! *mindblown*

So this one's for you Lord, as is everything else I do, I hope. But I don't want to ever go into a year without You. I want You in my every moment. I want to reflect You in my every breathe. I'm looking forward to spending all that time by Your side, like never EVER before!

I know "Thank You" will never be enough but still, "Thank YOU!"
I'm singing out to You. Singing "Hallelujah" :)
Daddy God, You're the best. <3

Changed.

CHANGE. I sometimes think this is the most difficult word I've ever come across. It's certainly one of the most unpleasant a lot of times. But in the end, it's sort of ridiculous how there's absolutely nothing we can do but accept it, because life always ends up turning out the right way if we do and turning into a big mess whenever we try to resist it :|

     My dear uncle was just telling me how fast we're all growing up. And he's right you know, Joe'll be 16 in 3 months, Mike, 18 in 4 and Imma be 20 in 5?! Seriously, when the heck did we grow so big?! But you know what, I don't feel 20, I don't remember this being what it felt like to be 20 when I imagined it when I thought of someday being 20... I mean like, when I was a kid, maybe what, 5 or 6, there used to be 20-year olds in our house all the time, and I don't really remember imagining myself to grow up into someone like them... I don't think I could quite think that far at that age. Considering, I clearly recall answering a, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" question with, "A nurse." Clearly, a lot has changed since then! :P

    I suppose, I was just being a little child then, but when do we actually change from being a little kid who doesn't know much to the billions of different people we are in this world? I mean, considering how much we resist change, it slips in ever so cunningly, innit? Did we ever really notice when we stopped wanting to do something because someone said don't. Did we ever really think about it, when our teachers said do? We just changed as the tide washed over us. I'd say it's a good thing because the smoothest pebbles are found washed in the river. But that doesn't mean we gotta be pebbles and not do anything but take it does it? Think about it? Lemme know :) <3

I tell you, I sure didn't notice a lot of things that changed about me until I looked back on them.

Good night!

To Battle

Warrior, hear the battle call.

Your time has come.

Fire arms may bring you down.

But your honour will live on.

Broken-hearted maidens watch

The army marches by.

Songs sung of comfort lost

Embracing the last lullabye.

Little lads run along beside.

Their fathers barely known.

Metal clanking, armour clad.

Echoes of laments true.

Flags of mourning flying high.

The villagers each spare a sigh

Homes, cattle, farmland left behind.

A cloud of dust the only sight.

Bursts of sorrow and painful melodies

Amidst them one of hope regained.

“They’ll be back soon”, her voice strong.

“As sure as the sun will rise.”

Harsh words for silence announced.

“You know not the future.”

But she penetrates the heavy cloud

Feather weight, the intruder.

Hope sown, hope never known.

Song of a grand return.

Marching soldiers, trudging on.

Ears perked in wonder.

Listen. Remember.

A day of joy to come.

Spirits rise to battle to go.

Hoping soon to be back.

Sorrowful hearts, ablaze anew.

War meaningless once more.

Families looking forward to

Being whole again.