Weird

Rosette.

I cut up a t-shirt today, just the sleeves and collar and whatnot... But I didn't quite want to throw the cloth off. It seemed usable. Apparently, I was right. :)

This was the tutorial for the Rosette.
http://www.everythingetsy.com/2012/07/rosette-necklace-tutorial-diy-gifts/

Start Art?

It's been a while since I did something productive. This isn't great, but I'm happy I did it :)

This is War

I speak and hear nothing.
My voice thunders through.
I  listen to echoes of great men disappear.
I watch shadows of ages past turn.
In the silence, their memories burn.

The hourglass tips.
Time refuses to stand still.
We trudge on, set in our tracks.
Lefts and rights are all but one.

Echoes that haunt.
Echoes that hunt.
Echoes that cause a moment of love.
Echoes remain, echoes always.

Mind stunted, shaken.
Longing to forget.
Body, bruised, battered and broken.
Age can always tell.

Wisdom in the words of those gone ahead.
Warning in the words to those who follow tread.

Footprints and blood, no wave can cleanse.
Swords and armor from toe to head.

War, this is war, battle cries unheard.
Arise from the midst of humanity, dissected.

I will it to stop.
I will it to end.
I will fight it, to death.
To serve and defend.

War, this is war.
My lullaby to those gone.
Departed, they find peace from the broken souled world.

War, this is war.
Only sorrow it holds.
War, this is war.
Not for a moment more.

Walking Down Memory Lane.

I take quite a few walks down memory lane every so often. I find it refreshing. There are times when I wish I could paint or sketch or something because there are those moments that are so precious and every time the image comes up in my head, part of me wants to plug my brain into a printer and have a hard copy. And the other part of me tells me I possibly wouldn't do it, even if I could.

See, the thing about me is, I remember a lot, at least when it comes to things that matter to me. Now, I'm gonna apologise to anyone I offend here and now, because it's bound to happen somewhere along this post.
I remember people who have given me something to think about, something to smile about. I remember what they said, how they said it, why they said it, when they said it and the whole sha-bang of the conversation. I remember because, to me, it was worth remembering. I remember things about people I've never met sometimes, just because someone in my memory mentioned them.

And yet, I remember less than half of the new faces and names I met this Sunday at the youth gathering. I know there are about three people I'll remember for a while, two because I actually got to talk to them for a little less than 5 minutes, but it was a conversation. And I'm happy to remember. The third just has one of those faces that I cannot place, but looks so ridiculously familiar for some reason. It's like I'm missing something I'm supposed to know and yet, the chances of that actually being true are practically nil.

I have so many memories flooding my brain right now, I couldn't possibly begin to type them out, but brains are funny things. I'm actually happy that they stump man every now and again, reminding us that if we don't know our own brains, everything else we know can't amount to much. At least, that's how I see it. I'm glad to remember. And no, I haven't got only happy memories. But, I'd like to believe that I've taken what I need to learn from those that weren't so pleasant, and the unpleasantness isn't meant to be dwelt on. It helps to start off with clean slates when you're as short-tempered (gaining length each day ;P) as I am or have been.

Take a stroll down memory lane. Remind yourself of good things. Sometimes they hide in the silliest of jokes, sometimes in the angriest quarrel. But memory lane always has something for us to learn.

Today is a New Day.

Today is a new day.
I can say it again.
Today is a new day.
A day to forgive.

I forgive you , for whatever you did.
More so, I struggle to forgive myself.
For it was worse, what I did, I think.
And I ask that you forgive me too.

Today is a new day.
A new day to live.

Today, I choose to be new.
I choose to walk new and talk new.
Yes, the old has slipped in,
But it reminds me once more, today is new.

Today is a new day.
Yesterday was too.
But today's different.
Today, I'm with You.

Yesterday, I wasn't so sure.
Tomorrow I'll be surer, I hope.
But today is a new day,
And I choose it to be new.

Today is a new day.
I learn to forgive.
I learn to live.
I learn to be more than the memories that weigh me down.
I learn to be more of the memories that change my frown.
I learn to smile, even at the storm.
I learn these because...
I learn.
He teaches.
Today.
Tomorrow.
And the day after that.

Cradled Cruelty

I watched today as three little boys, the oldest of whom could not have been more than thirteen or fourteen, tease and torture a poor wounded pigeon. I wondered if it was a pet, or if they were trying to help, but it was soon blatantly evident what their intentions were. The eldest boy, I see him around everyday almost, his dog quite annoys me sometimes with it's barking, but today, I gained so much respect for it, much more than that boy will earn from me in a long time. I watched the boys, aware of my gaze, play with the pigeon softly. Then, it got rough. They threw little stones and biscuits at the poor flightless creature who cornered itself and I'm sure, wished it could fly far away. My telling them to leave it alone before they killed it was pointless and so annoying. Little arrogant boys acting smart just because they think I can't understand Kanada. For their information, I quite understood most of their snide comments and evil plots and the only reason they were saved an earful was for my inability to carry a full row in any language other than English :|
They tried to force the dog to bite it or something, but the dog refused and growled at his master. I've never been prouder of that dog before. I believe the boy was scratched ever so slightly, and in my opinion, it was a little too slight, but for the dog's sake, I'm glad. In false humour now, the boys annoy the dog and further torment the pigeon who somehow manages to jump off the terrace and find a snug hole in the wall of the gutter next to the eldest boy's house, only to be dragged out and caged in the sunshine.
I watched the dog stand on two legs trying to reach the cage, in vain. I watched it chase away the nasty crow that seemed eager to torment the poor wretch in gray, all the more.
The cage is gone from the clothes line, the dog's been tied up again. I don't know how the story ends.
What I do know is that the dog had more 'heart' than those three boys put together.

Black and White

So, I've been away for a while and I haven't written anything proper in AGES!
And I don't quite know if this will be 'proper' either. But I might as well start somewhere to get back into maintaining my blog.
So, if anyone bothered to read the title, I'm wondering if it makes you wonder what I could possibly say about Black and White that hasn't been said before. Well, I'll admit, I can't say it's something that hasn't been said before. But I have something to say, just the same.
WE live in this crazy world right now, where there are quite a few people out there seem to think it's alright to go around bombing places and shooting people and watching Criminal Minds of late and too much at the same time, might end up unsettling me I think. And I keep hearing people say, nothing's black and white. But what if it could be?
No, life isn't black and white and hopefully it never will be, because the colours add so much that it would be a shame to lose even a little bit of it. But our thoughts and deeds. Our reasons. Can't they be as defined as the distinction between black and white? Do so many things have to be gray? Must we keep adding to that mountain of doubt and fear and indecision that defines 'gray', at least the way I see it? Aren't the 'grays' just ways to keep from choosing one or the other or perhaps both or neither. The 'gray' seems to be a way out. But, is it?
I leave you to it. Have a beautiful week, what's left of it anyway. God bless!

Place of No Return

A tethered lion.

A road down-hill.
A crumbling shack.
It begins.

Under the canopy,
Darkness chases her.
She runs.
She runs beyond redemption.
She runs to where there is no return.

They gather.
They follow.
She knows not what she runs from.
Misery envelopes her.
Hidden.
Alone.

The lion roars.
Still. Quietened.
None like it before. 
None since, has she seen.

White gold.
Beautiful.
Terrified.
Terrifying.

She sits, broken.
She will not cry.
She rises.
She will not cry.

As she walks away,
She looks back to see the depth.
Those eyes watch her disappear.
Alone.
Unafraid.

Yet, she will never find.
Yet, she cannot but search.
Misery and Peace quarrel
Enveloped is she.

Twenty Tomorrow

So, well, nothing surprising here :) Twenty tomorrow is obvious enough :")
But this post is about much much more.
I'm just really really happy right now. And Oh SO Thankful to God for His brilliance. I mean, like, I can't even put it into words. I'm just sitting here thinking of my life and how it's been so far. Yeah, I can see all those tears and stupidity and blah stuff. But then that's like just one miniscule part of my being. There are so many memories and people that come flooding in and it amazes me how I've met so many of them. So many stories and I'm telling you, He's planned it SO perfectly. I wouldn't change a thing! And He's taken me through so much and changed me so much. I just want to sit and smile and be like, I wish my smile could speak and it would just be telling the world that HE MADE ME. HE KNOWS MY NAME. HE CHOSE ME. HE LOVES ME. And this smile, is HIS. I am HIS.

I'm looking around and all I'm seeing is beauty. I mean seriously, this world is so beautiful. VERY MUCH! And to think, that Someone, who made ALL that, made me too and cares about me.
Jesus Loves Me. And He Loves you! *mindblown*

So this one's for you Lord, as is everything else I do, I hope. But I don't want to ever go into a year without You. I want You in my every moment. I want to reflect You in my every breathe. I'm looking forward to spending all that time by Your side, like never EVER before!

I know "Thank You" will never be enough but still, "Thank YOU!"
I'm singing out to You. Singing "Hallelujah" :)
Daddy God, You're the best. <3

Frustrated

Ugh! This scene keeps playing and replaying in my head!
So I was practically begging my teacher to give us an assignment that would require us to learn something and still be fun rather than parroting words as the present 'dialogue' assignment worked -.- Not to mention that it was the same assignment we'd done a few months back for the other internal assessment we gave in to the same teacher O.o SAME! Topic changed, that's it O.o
And she tells me that I ought to "Come join the *other institute specialising in this*" if I want to learn O.o

Um, what am I supposed to do here as part of my curriculum, in HER classes???

Further on in the conversation. She goes, "You got good marks already, why are you complaining?" "Ma'am because I'd like to at least put in a good effort to try and get the assignment changed into something of interest so that I actually learn something, we actually learn something and we all participate rather than a few writing and the others vomiting it out. Internals are usually fun!" She agrees with me that it's boring and pretty pointless. I'm not kidding. And then she goes, "Are you jealous of the *students whose mother tongue is this that I've opted for* because they did better than you?"

No words to respond. Goodbye -.- Meh! Seriously!

September 19.

It's my Appacha's birthday today :) He's 85 as of today. I'm ever thankful to God for blessing me with him. No one has a grandad like mine. The liberties we take with him are exceptional as is his exceptional heart. I have learnt much from him. Here's hoping he has a BRILLIANT day with all his grandkids who are there -.- And I will try to be all nice about it just for his happiness. :D I love you Appacha!! ♥ Have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Us lot are missing you here!

Happy Birthday Nitya Susan Verghese, you tall, gangly goof! God bless you! There's never a dull moment when you're around and you always get me to laugh until my sides hurt. Much much much love!

Lost In Translation

Okay, so here it is. LOST IN TRANSLATION. Do me a favour and open this link, let the track start and then read through the story, 'cause it really isn't complete without the background. Preferably plug your earphones in!

Sometimes a story is but a reflection of your own life; other times, it’s the thoughts that you have; but most often it’s your thoughts mixed with those stories you’ve heard time and again but you still can’t make sense of.

...................................................................................................................................................................

“Won’t you come sit with me for a while?”

“But I am. I’m sitting right here.”

“Well, that’s the irony of us. You’re sitting right here with me in the room, but your head most certainly isn’t here. You work too much.”

“I’m being productive. I’m listening to you aren’t I?

“Yeah, you are. But do you hear the rain?”

“The rain? Are you sure you didn’t hit your head this morning when you got out of bed?”

“Can you hear the fire?”

“The fire now? Are you okay?”

“Come sit here, on the window seat; just listen. Leave those papers and your muddled thoughts there.”

“What are you on about?”

“Just humour me for a few minutes.”

“But I’ve really got to finish this up. How come you don’t have any work?”

“I’ll get around to it. It’s mulling quietly in my brain. I always get my work done, don’t I?

“You know, that annoys me. You don’t stress half as much as I do and you still do just as well as if not better. When do you even work?”

“That’s because I know when to sit down and focus and not to let things stress me out all the time. Try my way for a change. It’s not as if you’re getting any work done anyway. I’m pretty sure all that ruffling I’ve been hearing is just you getting flustered more than anything else.”

“Fine. Tell me what you want to say. Out with it.”

“Who said I want to say anything?”

“Then what are you fussing about?!”

“I just want you to listen. Take a breath and just listen.”

“But if you’re not going to be talking, then what’s the point of listening?”

“Shush now. Close your eyes.”

“Okay, now I’m blind and listening to you not talking.”

“You still don’t get the point. Do you even realize it’s raining outside?”

“Yeah, so? What’s the big deal?”

“Did you realize I’ve had the fireplace lit for the past hour?”

“Now what does the fireplace have to do anything?”

“And that tells me you haven’t heard a word I’ve said. Try and listen to it, not just faintly realize that there’s music playing and leave the noises beyond human voices at that.”

“But what am I even listening to?”

“You’re not listening yet. When you hear it, you’ll tell me.”

“But…”

“Shush… Listen to the sound of silence as you see it.”

“Listen to each drop that hits the window sill, the ones that touch the glass – each flicker of the flame because of the wind stealing down the chimney and the burst of the wood as it’s consumed.”

“Umm, are you still awake?”

“I’m not quite sure if it was your poetry or the rain that took me away.”

“Hah! I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my talking. What did you hear?”

“Everything. The wind chimes next door even. The rain is gorgeous to listen to. And the fire just enhances it. It’s like they’re all playing to one rhythm.”

“Well, they are. It’s not just all chaos you know. You’d think a storm would be chaotic to listen to, but even then, there’s an orchestra in the wind. It’s amazing isn’t it?”

“I must admit, I do feel more relaxed than I have in the past half an hour I’ve spent with those papers not getting anywhere.”

“You really ought to give yourself a break sometimes. The sound of silence tends to take you out of your mind at least for some time; or at least gives you an illusion of getting you out of it.”

“I guess I really need to stop and listen sometimes. How come none of this registers in my brain otherwise?”

“It’s not that it doesn’t register, it’s just that we don’t prioritize. Most often, such beauty is overlooked just because it’s lost in translation.”

“Lost in translation?”

“We judge based on an idea of it that we have. Take the rain. The first things most people think of are how wet it’s going to be and how disruptive it may be or they’re a little more on the romantic side, then how it just makes everything prettier and lovelier. But the sound of the rain; that music.”

“I see now. Interesting. How much do we really lose in translation?”

Prelude to Lost in Translation

So somewhere along the course of all that blogging I didn't do, I've been mulling over many things to write about. One of them is the topic Lost in Translation. Now, I can think of several things that this could mean, but more than anything I think this most aptly describes me and how I talk to people :| Everything seems to be lost in the translation from thought to brain to speech. But Imma put up my latest Lost in Translation piece soon. As soon as it's done being graded and no longer has to be ungooglable. Somehow I can't picture them listening to reason that this actually is my account and that actually is my original story coz I'm the same person who submitted it!
Ah well, we'll see when it comes out, but keep an eye out for it!
Perhaps I should get back into writing on my blog! Who agrees?